In my graduate studies, we briefly covered some various parenting styles or theories. I remember thinking that attachment parenting sounded nice, but wondering if anyone actually lived that way.
Fast forward to my pregnancy, where I read books on breastfeeding, elimination communication, and natural childbirth. I bought cloth diapers and set up a crib next to my side of the bed. Logically I knew I liked to curl my blankets up around me, so pure co-sleeping was out.
Then, she arrived. In the hospital, my husband and I couldn't really imagine her sleeping in the hard bassinet that the hospital provided. All alone, elevated up to a comfortable level for the nurses to check the baby, but not designed to sleep next to either of us. So we sort of took shifts sleeping and holding her. It just felt natural. Mind you, I at least was still high on the oxytocin from delivery. I am not sure what my husband's explanation is.
On the drive home, I sat in the back seat with her. She did not like being unwrapped from her swaddle and buckled into the lightly disguised plastic carseat. So it seemed natural to sit next to her and provide my finger for suckling comfort and my familiar smell.
At bedtime, we initially set her down in her baby bed, and looked over at her. She just seemed to tiny and alone. So we brought her into our bed and she slept between our pillows for the first couple of nights. It just felt like that natural thing for us to do. A few nights of this, and it felt natural to give her a bit more room in her baby bed next to ours.
Evelyn was very small at birth (5 pounds, 8 ounces) and we needed to take her for weight checks and lactation consultations and even to the ENT for a procedure. I remember the first of these appointments was a sunny day, so we just pulled her from the car seat and carried her in. I thought nothing of this until it was drizzly for the next appointment, so we carried her in the car seat into the office. Boy was that weird! Carrying the clunky plastic car seat instead of my soft, cuddly daughter. What was I thinking? Plus, the thing I never noticed before was that no exam rooms at doctor's offices are that large. So there is not really anywhere for the car seat to go once you are there. Since then, the only times I have carried the car seat in are if I am the one with the appointment and the first time I did Costco by myself (since the first time I have put her in some sort of wrap or carrier). Even for most walks, we choose to wear (me) or carry (her dad) our little girl with us. For longer walks or walks that may include jogging, we do take a stroller, but its not terribly often.
Now for the real surprise to most folks. Our daughter lets us know when she needs to go potty. Mind you she is currently 10 weeks old, so she's not using words or texting us. But when we are listening to her fussing and paying full attention to her, we end up opening a dry diaper. Elimination communication was probably the only part of attachment parenting that I knew I wanted to try solely because I taught baby swimming and if those babies can figure out that when I tell them they're going underwater they need to get ready to hold their breath, then I'm sure a baby can figure out how to handle a natural bodily function. The real surprise was how much my husband enjoys communicating with her about her potties when he catches them.
Needless to say, we started this journey with some ideas of how we would parent, and none of them were quite as inline with attachment parenting as we have turned out to be practicing. Its such an interesting journey, but as so many advice-givers say you have to just trust your instincts and this is where our instincts have led us.
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