Sleeping Through The Night

Getting a baby to sleep through the night is a huge accomplishment. The problem is in the wording of that phrase, "getting a baby to sleep" makes it sound like there is some special formula. In my experience the proper phrase should be "facilitating your baby to sleep"*

I have two stories to share, the first my own and the second that of a family I know (so I have changed a couple things to keep it as generic as possible.

Last weekend, I woke up to deal with my own biological needs and heard Evelyn fussing. So once I was done with my business, I went into her room and nursed her like normal. This was not an uncommon event, and to be honest I liked it on more than one level. Everything was quiet and cozy in the house. The two of us snuggled close and dozey. Knowing that she would eat for at least a solid half feeding and get some much needed nutrients and calories** this night was no different than any other, except that she wasn't settling back down like normal. I feed her 12 minutes*** on each side and rocked her a bit. She still wasn't calming down like normal. So I layed her in her crib to see what would happen and went back to my room (have I blogged about how her sleeping in her own room dramatically improved her nighttime sleep??). My husband was up, so we discussed this wake-up a bit, then he decided to give it a try rocking her to sleep. Twenty minutes later, he returned a bit confused by her behavior. Normally both of these things would help her relax and fall asleep, but no luck on this night. So we did something that never seriously crossed our minds or appealed to our parenting style. We just let her fuss. And you know what happened? She went back to sleep. It's almost as if our assistance was getting in the way of what she wanted and needed**** Since that night she has slept soundly for 12+ hours a night. 

The second story has been an inspiration to me while Evelyn was sorting out her sleep. It is about twins and it is short. These two babies, parented by the same parents, in the same environment. One of them slept for a solid 12 hours a night from relatively early, the other would awaken to eat twice a night. While a part of me was envious of that second child only waking twice a night, the larger part of me really appreciated the non-advise bit of EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT and clearly there was no secret to "getting" a baby to sleep through the night.

Sleep ALWAYS comes up when moms talk about their babies. In fact, if I want to strike up a conversation with another mom I don't yet know I tend to start with sleep. I believe it is because no matter how gross a diaper is or how frustrating feeding can be, neither of those systems affect OUR biological cycles like the nighttime cycles of our precious babes. Even once those previous bundles are sleeping at night, it takes some time for us moms to remember how to sleep through the night (I had one solid night's sleep the first night, and it's slowly getting better). 

I felt compelled to share this mainly because once baby does sleep through the night, it changes everything. Mostly for the good, but I do miss those midnight snuggles. I also wanted to put it out there as inspiration to the moms out there desperate for sleep, because I tried all sorts of things from full bellies, to every common essential oil scent in her room to keep her relaxed, grounded, happy, etc. the two things that actually made a difference were: us moving out of her room, and not interrupting a nighttime fuss. That second one we only discovered on accident. So really our girl wanted to do it on her own, and we, as parents, had to figure that out by trial and error. Luckily I still get bedtime snuggles :)

*sounds super nerdy, I know.

**my girl is mobile and curious. Combine that with a cat who loves to come in and snuggle with us and she's not a stellar daytime eater.

***12 minutes was just the magic time for the two of us.

****we don't personally think she has 'wants' per se, only needs still (even if the need is to put non-food stuff in her mouth)

:) for us the advise of "how your baby falls asleep when they go to bed is how they will expect to go to sleep when they wake up throughout the night" is utterly false! I nurse then snuggle Evelyn to bed almost every night. Thank God because I do really miss our midnight snuggles.